Hi everyone,
It’s been quite a while since I last published a fresh newsletter consistently. I was very proud of my two-year streak of publishing weekly and am sad to lose it. But it has been hard to bring myself to write. Two things happened at the same time that led to this:
First, I source much of my content from the challenges my clients face. Their questions and our work together inspire my writing. Starting around May this year, a majority of tech companies began measuring token usage in earnest, pursuing thoughtless layoffs or role changes, and setting unrealistic goals for the remaining team.
The deep conversations about leadership and careers disappeared. Instead, I spent most of my time with very stressed-out leaders who were either ready to quit due to AI or extremely worried about AI taking over their jobs. Most of the conversations happened in a high-anxiety “we must solve this now”, making it super difficult to go deeper and be open to longer-than-a-day possibilities. There was so much fear: about how to fit learning AI into their already crazy workloads, about all their years of education and experience becoming irrelevant, or about whether they were still “on the right path.” Everyone was scrambling to get an AI degree (what is that), take an AI course on Evals, or read 20 articles on “how to adopt AI in X”.
It was a great business opportunity for coaches and educators. My inbox filled with subject lines that featured AI prominently. Everyone had a hot take. Demand for AI courses was at an all-time high. Many around me built thriving businesses off this unprecedented demand.
Unfortunately for me, fulfillment with my work was at an all-time low. I get fulfillment when I can slow down with a client, connect with them at a deeper, more emotional level, and help them build confidence, curiosity, and courage. But as the stress around AI increased, the conversations got shorter, more tactical, and more “what can I do now immediately?” And I lost much of my own motivation for the work. And that made it hard to coach others.
Second, I started to use AI for drafting my newsletters. I leaned into a writing process where I would take a walk, talk to Claude, and then have it do the first draft. I would then edit, tweak, and publish. It was faster, but much less enjoyable over time. I tried to persist. I pushed myself to keep it up. And after a few weeks, the joy of writing disappeared entirely. I found myself creating posts for the sake of creating them, perhaps because my business needed it, rather than writing from the heart as a way to help others or distill my own thoughts on a topic.
And so I stopped. One Monday, I decided that I was just going to hit pause. I stopped writing (and pressuring myself to get something out there). I cut back on accepting new clients to referrals only. I ended some client engagements that were draining me and refunded them in full.
I took a break.
A much longer-than-expected break.
I thought my break would be for around 2 weeks, coinciding with some family vacation time in August. But then came September, back to school, and now we’re basically at the end of October. And finally, I’m feeling more energized again.
Now, it’s hard to say anything is normal right now, with all the geopolitical challenges, volatile markets, and AI end-of-world prophecies. However, I’ve found that leaders and executives are back to asking more grounded questions about their life and career, and more open to me creating the space for slower conversation. The strategy is less “use AI at all costs” and more “let’s see what we’re getting out of it. Is it speed? higher quality?” There’s less “I need to do this because A\ or OpenAI or some $1B funded AI native startup is doing it” and more “This is what’s right for my team and organization.” It feels less "grasping at a straw” and more “let’s go on a difficult journey together”.
And at the same time, I feel my creative energy finally returning. I will avoid using AI for writing this newsletter for a while, at least the first draft. It has its uses in our home (e.g., meal planning, finances, and budgeting) and my work (e.g., my course content, social posts, AEO). But I’ve realized that I need to go through the work of writing, not just talking, to truly let creativity flow. It’s like how I love making a bowl in my ceramics studio. While I could get a machine to produce a bowl that is perhaps even of higher “quality”, it’s about the process, not the outcome.
So, this is a very long-winded way to say: I’m back. I look forward to sharing more leadership and career learnings with you through this newsletter. Anyone considering executive coaching with me, please say hello through a free intro call.
See you next week at 3:14 pm!
Yue
Thank you for putting into words, what I have been experiencing and feeling.