How We Hold Ourselves Back Without Noticing

You need to convince yourself that you are ready for the next level, so that others can believe it too.

Last week, I was on a coaching call with a Director-level client, Jenny. She was concerned that she didn’t have the skills yet for a new VP-level role and didn’t want to “bother” her manager about it. Later in the call, she off-handedly mentions that her VP had just presented a strategic document to the executive team. Jenny had written the original. He adopted it with almost zero changes.

"Do you think your VP would have presented it if he thought it was below the bar?" I asked her.

She went quiet.

Then: "No. He's very specific and holds a high bar for himself."

"So what does that tell you?"

Longer pause.

"That my work is already at the VP-level," she murmured to herself.

Jenny was filtering out all the signals that she was already at the VP level. Instead, she was noticing the areas where she was not there yet, and telling herself and others that she is not ready.

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Why We Rationalize

Jenny was working from the idea that the title comes after you’ve earned it. And when you have earned it, it’ll be given to you in the form of a promotion. This belief is prominent in our school days: put in the work, nail the tests, and then they hand you a diploma. Early career is similar: do a good job, get recognized by your manager, and get a promotion. But at the senior levels, you have to shift your behavior first to act at the next level, and this is a nuanced step many people miss.

I’ve seen many clients already operating at the next level: they have the opportunity to make the calls; they are being asked to lead those complex projects. Yet they keep looking for evidence that they are not yet good enough. It is how they rationalize their reality.

Then, this belief becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. When you don’t believe you are there (yet), you hedge your arguments, you defer to others to make the final call, or you go with the group’s opinion rather than standing firm on yours. You might even tell others that you don’t think you’re quite ready for the next level yet. This behavior keeps others from looking to you for support or direction. And your skip level will look at this and think: “She’s not ready for VP yet.”

Change Your Lens For Yourself

In order to “operate at the next level”, we first have to notice and give ourselves credit for when we already do this. we can do it. This means updating your internal narrative of yourself to reflect the evidence that’s already in front of you. The question to ask yourself isn’t “am I ready?” It is: “What evidence is there that I am already at the next level?”

Jenny didn’t notice that her work was already VP ready until I pointed it out. And from then on, she noticed when other senior leaders deferred to her perspectives. Or came to her for support on an idea. Or wanted her input on their work. Noticing these events gave her confidence and courage, and she showed up differently to meetings and conversations. Jenny was more direct, opininated, and confident in herself. Within six month, the CEO endorsed her VP promotion.

That’s all folks! See you next week at 3:14pm.

Yue
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The Uncommon Executive is a newsletter for senior managers and directors navigating the transition to the next level. If this resonated, forward it to someone who's still gathering evidence.